Olympics - RSI

Man Who Updates The Medal Table For Great Britain Off Sick With RSI

Fred Thurman, the man who got the world's easiest job, has been signed off sick with RSI.

"I'm a lazy, work-shy type of guy and didn't really want to work but when I saw this job advertised, I thought 'how hard can that be?' and the first few days looked promising. I got my deckchair out and opened a few beers and sat back and was grateful I wasn't the guy doing the Chinese updates.

"Then the sailing, rowing and cycling started and I've been rushed off my feet. Golds here, silvers there. What's going on? In my day, fourth was the position to be in. Heroic failure was the accepted norm. There's too many smiling faces and fulfilled potential. I'm not happy.

"My wrist is giving me grief. Part of that is due to watching porn, but constant updating of the chart hasn't helped. Both Liu Xiang and me are out of the Olympics with an injury although he's getting all the headlines. I feel like Blake Aldridge," said Fred.

The position has now been filled by a former Olympic athlete in attempt to keep up with the demanding role. Specialist training will be given to the person who gets the job for 2012 in what could be the busiest job of all time.

"I do feel sorry for the US guy. He'll be doing updates for years to come when they have to start giving the medals back," added Fred.