Mahmoud Ahmadinejad took the drastic step of having his legs and spine lengthened through surgery. It appears that all the pain and suffering has been worth it. He had informed the West that he was going to have his legs broken and they offered to help him out, but he turned down their offer."We are releasing the test pictures to show people that the system is working and that it is being treated seriously by the UN. As the 'Before and After' picture shows - he just about makes the required minimum height," said a UN spokesman
His legs were broken, then pinned and finally screws were inserted and the international community helped turn the screws gradually over many months causing the bones to stretch.He also had the same done in his back and bits of hip were slotted in to make discs. Finally, he was placed on a rack and stretched all over.Mahmoud Ahmadinejad had tried to pass the height test on three previous occasions after the initial test, but had failed.
"Firstly, he grew his hair and styled it like Heather Small, formerly of M People," said a UN Height Examiner. "That's an unacceptable way to achieve the height. UN Resolution 4862 clearly states that 'a bouffant or coiffure is to be ignored and measurement should be taken up to the scalp only.' He has all her CDs.
"On the second occasion, he was wearing a top hat and wanted us to measure him while he was still wearing it. He said he would wear the hat on all public engagements, so it would be ok for us to pass him. I think we saved him from looking like a demented Diddyman. His proposal was refused. When you meet him, 'top hat' does spring to mind, but that's just the cockney in me.
"He then asked for a further test and it looked promising. His head was clearly above the height required, but then we noticed that he appeared to be on stilts, which violates UN Resolution 4862 (a). We routinely check world leaders for stilts," said the UN Height Examiner."They are shoes with a slightly raised platform," pleaded Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.For a while, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad accepted he was never going to measure up as world leader and made up for his lack of stature by enriching uranium and the successful invasion of a Royal Navy speedboat, known as the Thirty Second War.
He only decided on the drastic step of an operation when he met Syrian President.
Bashar al-Assad Bashar al-Assad, known as 'al-Ass' to his mates, was greeted by Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and Assad said, "Hello little fella, tell your dad I'm here to see him about anti-western rhetoric and the annihilation of neighbouring states." Obviously, it was tad embarrassing when Ahmadinejad said that he was the Iranian President that Assad come to meet. Although Ahmadinejad felt a little small, it wasn't until a picture of the two meeting appeared in the media that it really hit home how unstatesmanlike he looked.
"That picture shocked a nation and the world. It clearly illustrates why we have stringent rules and height restrictions for world leaders. There's no hiding place for small leaders and we will find you. Tall terrorists are a different kettle of fish, mind. If you want to be taken seriously as a credible world leader, then you simply have to measure up," said a UN spokesman.
His legs were broken, then pinned and finally screws were inserted and the international community helped turn the screws gradually over many months causing the bones to stretch.He also had the same done in his back and bits of hip were slotted in to make discs. Finally, he was placed on a rack and stretched all over.Mahmoud Ahmadinejad had tried to pass the height test on three previous occasions after the initial test, but had failed.
"Firstly, he grew his hair and styled it like Heather Small, formerly of M People," said a UN Height Examiner. "That's an unacceptable way to achieve the height. UN Resolution 4862 clearly states that 'a bouffant or coiffure is to be ignored and measurement should be taken up to the scalp only.' He has all her CDs.
"On the second occasion, he was wearing a top hat and wanted us to measure him while he was still wearing it. He said he would wear the hat on all public engagements, so it would be ok for us to pass him. I think we saved him from looking like a demented Diddyman. His proposal was refused. When you meet him, 'top hat' does spring to mind, but that's just the cockney in me.
"He then asked for a further test and it looked promising. His head was clearly above the height required, but then we noticed that he appeared to be on stilts, which violates UN Resolution 4862 (a). We routinely check world leaders for stilts," said the UN Height Examiner."They are shoes with a slightly raised platform," pleaded Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.For a while, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad accepted he was never going to measure up as world leader and made up for his lack of stature by enriching uranium and the successful invasion of a Royal Navy speedboat, known as the Thirty Second War.
He only decided on the drastic step of an operation when he met Syrian President.
Bashar al-Assad Bashar al-Assad, known as 'al-Ass' to his mates, was greeted by Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and Assad said, "Hello little fella, tell your dad I'm here to see him about anti-western rhetoric and the annihilation of neighbouring states." Obviously, it was tad embarrassing when Ahmadinejad said that he was the Iranian President that Assad come to meet. Although Ahmadinejad felt a little small, it wasn't until a picture of the two meeting appeared in the media that it really hit home how unstatesmanlike he looked.
"That picture shocked a nation and the world. It clearly illustrates why we have stringent rules and height restrictions for world leaders. There's no hiding place for small leaders and we will find you. Tall terrorists are a different kettle of fish, mind. If you want to be taken seriously as a credible world leader, then you simply have to measure up," said a UN spokesman.
