Sporting Thug

Joey Barton Admits To Being Pleasant On april 23rd 2008, a court hears

The court heard that Barton was repeatedly nice for the whole day. He was arrested the following morning in a 6.00am raid and was charged with 'knowingly acting out of character with a view to shocking just about everybody.'

"Frightening," said PC Postlewhaite. "The guy was smiling from ear to ear. I called for an armed response team as back-up," he told a hushed court.

Barton admitted his guilt ahead of the trial. Judge Smythe asked his counsel to have a word with his client, but his legal team said Barton 'would not take any legal advice and was happy to continue on his desired course and to plead guilty.'

Prosecutor Richard Vardon described the episode as an 'explosive combination of football and pleasantness.' It was he said a 'level of nicety not seen or heard of before or since.'

Teammate Ousmane Dabo said Barton turned up at the training ground and said 'Good morning. How are you today, my fine fellow?'
"I immediately defended myself as I felt he was deliberately intimidating me. He had invaded my space. He was out of order," said Dabo.

Georgios Samaras, a fellow teammate, said it was the worst incident he'd ever witnessed. "He was over-friendly. He seemed happy and contented. It's not something you want to see. I don't even like talking about it," said Georgios.

The court heard that Barton had been building up to this level of niceness over a period of a few years. Prosecutor Vardon outlined a timetable of shocking events that culminated into this shocking incident:

2004 February: Smiled at a fan
April: Buys the manager a pint
July: Waves at opposing fans
December: Signs an autograph and wishes people a 'Happy Christmas' (fined 6 weeks wages)
2005 May: Helps an old lady across the road
July: Does a fun run for charity without manager's permission (fined eight weeks wages)
2006 September: Makes a citizens arrest of a bad hoodie (police take no action)
2007 November: Donates a kidney (FA probe but no action taken)
December: Adopts a donkey

Barton wished to express his 'remorse' and 'shame' and made the court a promise that he would revert to type once he had served his sentence.

He will be sentenced next week. Judge Smythe told Barton to expect a lengthy prison term for a such a serious offence.