Holiday Complaint

Parisian Experience Holiday Was Weekend In Blackpool

A coachload of holidaymakers were left disappointed as their 'Parisian Experience' turned out to be a tour of Blackpool.

"It was not what I expected, " said Ethel Wainwright. "I was hoping to sample the romance and gaeity of Paris and not lots of drunk people on stag and hen nights. I didn't want 'kiss me quick.' I wanted 'kiss me slowly, passionately and all over.' I wanted a je t'aime voulez vous French kind of thing," said Ethel.

"We got on a flight at Liverpool and were only in the air for what seemed like minutes. Turns out we had landed in Manchester and got a coach from there. I thought everyone spoke really good English. I thought it was typical of the French. They always make an effort for their European friends." added Ethel

Tour Operator, Cheap n Cheerful, said the people got what they paid for.

"They wanted the experience and they got that. Blackpool Tower is the spit of the Eiffel and the view is better. The Champs-Élysées is no wider than the promenade. There are plenty of bars and alehouses along there. Some kicked off about the Arc De Triomphe, but that race is only once a year and it wasn't held over that weekend. They wanted good wine. Well they've had a good whine over this holiday, I can tell you. Latin Quarter? I go the whole hog. Blackpool has dames too and notre just one," said the former redcoat and managing director, Bill Crompton

Cheap n Cheerful were criticised last year for their Disneyland Experience, which appeared to be little more than a few rides in the Amusement Park. The Bondai Experience, which was 3 days on Blackpool Beach. The Icelandic Experience, which was Blackpool in February and the Machu Picchu Experience, which was a deserted wasteland on the outskirts of Blackpool and the much maligned Egyptian Experience.

"Disney is a few rides and a pair of ears on your head. People got that experience without the expense and looking like a complete twonk. The Bondai Experience was disappointing in as much as I was hoping for storms so people could at least surf. It was more like Bondai Beach on a very calm day. I offered to drive people to see the tide to save the half mile walk. I refute the Egyptian complaints. It was never about the Pyramids and Valley of the Kings. It was more about the inner-city Egypt that people don't see. It's just like a few estates in Blackpool. And another thing, it gets bloody cold here in the winter, which is all people go to Iceland for and they got to meet Kerry Katona. I've been to Machu Picchu and there's nothing there. There's nothing here in Blackpool either. Machu Picchu is just different levels of grass and half-built walls." said Bill.

Strangely, his 'Blackpool Experience' is a fortnight in the Caribbean. "I've had no complaints with that one so far. No one seems to be bothered that it's not Blackpool," said Bill.