There was pandemonium in Padstow today as Dolphins picketed Rick Stein's restaurant. Dolphins have been upset that they are not on the menu. The dolphins turned up carrying placards with female dolphins in T-shirts with 'This cow's not mad. She's livid' on them.
No Laughing Matter, say Dolphins
Chants of :
What do we want? To be eaten! When do we want it? Now!
We're Poisson! Not Poison!
were heard all over the bay while diners tucked into their freshly caught cuisine.
Marine Biologist Jacques Jones, who often speaks on behalf of dolphins, read out a prepared statement from the dolphins:
"Let's get one thing straight. We like Rick. We have a lot of respect for the gastronomic genius. He's cooked and eaten some our best friends, but he's not budging on this issue. He just won't put us on the menu. We are gutted or hope to be in the near future.
"He's hiding behind legislation. He also said he ran a fish restaurant and that we are mammals. That's just human labelling. Do we look like a mammal to you? Forget the blowhole thing. That's a red herring. We breathe through it. You talk out of your blowhole, but we don't say you're a dolphin. If we swim like a fish, look like a fish and taste like a fish then we are not mammals.
"Rick finds the whole thing amusing. Do we look like we are laughing?" read Jacques.
Rick said dolphins were protected, but his main reason for their exclusion from his restaurant was that they tasted like chicken. "People want the taste of fish when they eat at my places. I think they would be more suited on KFC's menu - Flipper Wings with a nice sauce," said Rick.
