The true scale of deceit of the canoe couple and who helped them has been revealed after they were both sent down for fraud.
At first, it was believed that the couple who tricked police, insurance companies and, most cruelly, their own sons had acted alone, but this was not the case.
Pictures and emails showed that they contacted a secret missing persons network - Unfindable Inc, most commonly used by despots, terrorists and tyrants. People wishing to go missing are sent details of how to go missing for only £99. There are a series of plans and you choose the plan that you think you can get away with. The Darwins chose the Canoe and Adjacent Bedsit Plan. Unfindable Inc then advise how to go missing, set up accounts, how to cry at funerals and how to lie to everyone in a convincing manner.
Once you go missing, you are flown to a country of your choice where you will never be found. While there, you are introduced to a network of currently 'missing - may even be dead' people.
On arrival, you get a 'How To Stay Missing Starter Pack' and you are given local contacts who will sort out your basics of accommodation, transport and the lay of the land etc.
A picture has surfaced that Anne Darwin was met at the airport by Shergar and transported to a secret location.....
A Disguised Shergar Played His Part
..where she was given the keys to a vehicle supplied by Lucan's Motors.....
It's Lucan Kinda Dodgy
'......and she drove off to the Osama Properties head office to meet up with her dead husband and Osama Bin Laden
I've Bin Expecting You
I've Bin Expecting You
Unfindable Inc said that some high profile people had been found such as Saddam Hussein and Radovan Karadzic, but they had gone against advice and had not moved to another country. "As for the Darwins, well.... he handed himself in and they posed for pictures.... the daft sods," said a spokesman.
Rumour has it that Gordon Brown is interested in their 'Back Benches Plan'
Meanwhile, the Darwins children have taken to disguising themselves in public.
